Jailbirds
by SerenityCourage
Summary: It was inevitable that Tony and Tim would wind up in prison at some point, but Gibbs never expected that he'd have to bail out his girls. Will contain spanking.
1. Chapter 1

"Ziva?"

"Yes, Abby?"

"I think that we'd better announce that you're a seasoned assassin right off the bat."

Ziva let her eyes skim over the occupants of the holding cell where she and Abby were currently imprisoned.

"I think that I'd prefer a surprise attack, should any defensive actions be needed."

Abby nodded slowly, leaning back against the wall that was farthest away from their new cell mates.

"As long as you have a plan."

The two girls stood side by side, each lost in her own thoughts. Wringing her hands, Abby looked down at her platform boots.

"Sciuto."

A guard dressed in blue beckoned her over to the gap in the bars where he'd just opened the door a bit., "Take your call."

Abby stole a glance at her friend before pushing off the cinder block and following the officer. Ziva reached out and patted the back of her shoulder in silent support.

Barely ten minutes later, Abby was back in the cell.

"Is someone coming?" Ziva asked hopefully. Spending her night in prison was not exactly how she had wanted to start her weekend.

"McGee didn't pick up."

The same bored-looking police officer crooked his finger at the older woman, and she exited the cell to take her turn, glancing back over her shoulder to throw a warning look at the others who were left in the cell with Abby. The last thing she needed tonight was to have her friend hurt, and there would be no mercy for anyone that made that happen.

She studied the phone for a moment, thinking over her choice carefully. Gibbs was absolutely out of the question. Doctor Mallard, while he was a kind man, would no doubt be very stern with them and there was no chance that the news wouldn't get back to Gibbs if Ducky was brought into it. Jimmy had an exam coming up, an she really hated to bother him when he was already under so much stress. That only left...

"The phone won't dial itself, lady."

Whipping her head around to glare at the officer, Ziva reminded herself that it wouldn't do anyone any good if she snapped the irritating local LEO's scrawny neck.

Picking up the telephone, she sighed heavily. Maybe, a night in jail wouldn't be so bad, if it meant that she didn't have to make this call. Conjuring an image of the terrified look on Abby's face when they'd first been brought to the cell into her head as motivation, she began to dial.

"DiNozzo on the line, talk to me."

"Tony, it is Ziva. I...I am at the police station with Abby."

She rolled her eyes, as she heard the tell-tale sounds of choking and sputtering signaling that he'd been taking a long sip of something while she had been speaking. Good. She hoped he'd spilled some.

"What?! W-why?!"

"We have been," she paused and tried to bring to mind a less harsh sounding word to describe her situation, "_detained_."

"You mean arrested?"

"Yes, Tony, I mean arrested! Now if you would just come down here and bail us out-"

"Well, gee, Ziva. I would, but I'm just so _busy_," he said, glancing around at his empty apartment, "Tell you what, I'll call _Gibbs_. I'm sure he'll be right there. Have fun."

"Tony, don't you dare hang up on —"

The call clicked to an end, and Ziva pulled the receiver away from her ear. Slamming it down on the base repeatedly, she growled to herself. The man was absolutely dead on Monday.

Abby smiled widely when Ziva returned to the cell.

"Who's coming?"

"I called Tony," she said softly.

"And?"

"Gibbs is coming," she admitted softly.

Abby blanched and leaned against the wall.

"Ziva?"

"Yes, Abby?"

"He's gonna spank our asses, isn't he?"

"Yes, Abby."  


* * *

  
Okay, I'm trying to finish everything that I have up this week, especially All Hallows Eve, but I couldn't resist putting this one up.

It's harder to write now. I'm not sure if I've let you know, but my daughter was born two months ago, healthy and happy, and I'm just getting back into the swing of things. But I'll keep trying, if you guys keep being patient with me.

Thanks for reading, and being so understanding.


	2. Chapter 2

As it turns out, when one is arrested and placed in a holding cell, the guards who mill about the precinct are slightly less than willing to provide fresh coffee and are still less likely to make a Caf-Pow! run. That being said, it really came as no big surprise when Abby began to nod off against the cinder block wall behind her. Ziva, having plenty of experience of running on barely any caffeine and even fewer hours of sleep, kept her cautious watch going for the twenty minutes it took for Gibbs to appear.

Abby had already fallen asleep, leaning her head against Ziva's shoulder and curling her legs tight under herself. Ziva continued her vigil, watching carefully over her friend in case one of their charming cell-mates decided to make a stupid decision. Looking up, a man with silver hair and heated eyes made her do a double take.

Gibbs had arrived.

And boy, was it evident when he arrived.

It wasn't often that a room full of hardened criminals, and a few forensic scientists and ex-assassins, was filled with that awful kind of frightening tension that immediately brought crowds to silence and laid in a hazy fog over everyone. However, it also wasn't often that a man like Leroy Jethro Gibbs came to claim his two wayward daughters.

Their eyes met and she winced at her boss's disappointed stare. He moved up further in the line to get to the front desk, and Ziva sighed. It was time to face the melody.

Now, while Gibbs filed his way through the seemingly iron clad police tape that kept his girls in custody, Ziva watched in silence, a calculating look on her face, and Abby's pigtailed head on her shoulder. Mildly disturbed by the fact that Gibbs' cold, steely voice could not be heard from the cell, signaling that it had dropped into that low tone that meant trouble for all involved, she sighed.

Reaching a gentle hand out towards Abby's shoulder, she stretched her long legs out as far as they would go, easing the cramps that had gathered there.

"Abby? Wake up, Abby."

"Ziva?" Abby muttered drowsily, "I just dreamt that we were in…"

She trailed off as the bars surrounding them fell into her line of vision. A word that Gibbs wouldn't tolerate, although he was rather lenient on the language plane, came tumbling out of her lips, making Ziva chuckle quietly.

"Guess that means that Gibbs being on his way wasn't really a dream, either."

"Gibbs is not on his way, Abby."

The scientist slumped in relief only to snap to attention again at Ziva's next words.

"He's already here. At the front desk."

The word toppled off her tongue again. This time, it was loud enough to reach Gibbs hawk-like ear, causing his head to snap in their direction. His sharp look was enough to make Abby gulp.

"Ziva?"

"Yes, Abby?"

"I changed my mind. I think I want to stay in jail."

* * *

Later on, when the two women were safe in the backseat of Gibbs' car he got straight to the point.

"Explain. Now."

Abby and Ziva glanced at each other before starting into their story.

"Well, you see, Ziva owed me a girl's night out…"

"She asked me to go with her a long while ago, but I was otherwise engaged."

"Right. So we went to that new bar down on Second Street, near the Dippin' Dots place? You know where that is?"

Abby squirmed under his stern glare.

"I mean, I guess you wouldn't exactly be a frequent customer there, but you might know it," she paused, waiting for some sort of recognition to appear on his face, but continued again when it stayed the same; a resilient stoic mask hiding a whole lot of pissed off, "We could go there now. You seem like you could use some ice cream because you're looking sort of erm… irked."

Clapping a hand over her friend's mouth, Ziva continued the story.

"Either way, we seated ourselves at a table and ordered our drinks."

"Last time I checked, that wasn't illegal. I'm still not hearing how you ended up in some local LEO's lockup."

The two women exchanged a nervous glance, before Abby took a deep breath and finished their tale.

* * *

Ziva laughed and leaned towards Abby to hear the next part of her story. The bar was significantly more crowded than when had they first arrived, and while it was difficult to hear over the music earlier, the noise that was produced by idle conversation added to the mix and made it almost impossible.

"And so then I told him, 'I'm not logged onto a suspect's account, McGee. That's Tony's hard drive!'"

They both snickered quietly as they reached to take their drinks from the waitress.

Ziva raised her glass, and Abby's soon followed.

"To Girl's Night Out."

"To the use of chemical enhancement in the process of fingerprint analysis."

The agent looked at her friend oddly, trying to follow her train of thought, though she knew that was often a hopeless and tedious task to take on.

"Is that what helped you solve our case today?"

"Mainly, yeah."

Smiling, she chuckled fondly.

"Of course, then. To that, too."

Their glasses collided with a clink, and they both took a long swig to start out.

"Excuse me, ladies."

Both women moved their eyes to the tall man that approached Abby from behind. Twisting awkwardly to see him, the Goth made an irritated face at her friend, who smiled before turning her attention back to the man.

"I can't help but notice that you're here all alone."

"Ziva, do you exist?" Abby asked wryly.

"Yes, Abby."

"Sorry, pal. Not alone."

His hand dropped to her shoulder, squeezing tightly.

An old, wooden bar chair clattered to the floor as Ziva rose to her feet, a rush of protective instinct clouding her head.

"_Remove your hand, immediately_," she hissed, oblivious to the fact that the entire bar was now staring in their direction.

Bony fingers tightened and the skin beneath them began to bruise. Abby bit her lip, breathing deeply.

"Ziva, I can handle this."

"Handle what?" the man asked, "We're just having a friendly conversation."

Whirling to face him and wrenching her shoulder from his grasp, Abby pointed at him. "You shut up."

A few things happened in the same instant. A heavy hand rose to collide with Abby's cheek, but was snatched out if the air at the last second. The scientist jumped out of her seat, watching the stalemate that was occurring between Ziva and the stranger. The offending hand was caught in Ziva's much smaller fist, looking strained as if it was being put under too much pressure.

And it was.

"Are you alright, Abby?"

"Peachy. Let's go now."

She was ignored, as expected, leading her to start to move to her friend. Abby hadn't made it three steps when the man's other arm snapped out to catch her waist. She didn't have time to shake him off before he reared back.

Ziva's fist had crashed into his nose.

* * *

"From there, things…_escalated_."

Gibbs was silent, driving slowly and contemplating the story he'd just heard.

"A bar fight."

The two women in backseat glanced at each other, beginning to become nervous. Well, more nervous.

"A _bar_ fight."

Oh, yeah. They were dead.


	3. Chapter 3

The moment that they walked in the door, Ziva and Abby were immediately sent to separate rooms. Seeming solemn, their boss trudged down to the basement, promising to be back soon. Abby hugged her friend tightly before heading to the living room.

It only took a few minutes of sitting alone in Gibbs's guest room for Ziva to realize that she wished she and Abby hadn't been separated. The problem wasn't that she was frightened. She had certainly been in worse situations. However, it was far too quiet for her tastes. With Abby, nothing was quiet, and sometimes that was just what the physician ordered.

Now, she would have given anything for her friend's cheery voice to break the thick silence that veiled the tension in the room. Ziva did not like to be kept in the dark, especially when it came to decisions that would affect her in excess. And this was certainly one of those circumstances…

Her thoughts were interrupted as the bedroom door swung open, revealing a slightly calmer, but no less stern Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Craning her neck, she attempted to look behind him, but her friend was nowhere in sight.

"Abby?" she asked feebly, cursing herself for not seeming stronger.

Gibbs nodded solemnly, unable to fault her for looking out for her surrogate sister.

"She's fine."

"Good," Ziva whispered before beginning to twist her hands. "That's good."

Sighing heavily, he sat on the bed beside her.

"You know that was dangerous, right?"

"Not for me. They _do_ teach us how to defend ourselves in Mossad."

"What about Georgia State University?"

Eyebrows scrunched in confusion, she looked up at him, making full eye contact with him for the first time since he entered the room.

"What?"

"Do they teach you how to defend yourself at Georgia State?"

"I would not know. Why is that of any importance?"

He shrugged. "It's where Abby went to school."

The tension in the room increased as she sucked in a breath allowing his words to register in her head.

"She could have been hurt."

Her words came out choked and twisted, and Gibbs grasped her shoulder before answering.

"Abbs is tough."

"I know that, but-"

"She handled that assistant of hers. And the stalker."

"That was not the same! She was evenly matched then! This was an entire bar full of large, unhappy men! You cannot tell me that it wasn't possible-"

"Ziva."

One look at her boss's face told her that he was already aware of all of this. _Damn reverse psychology…_

"I-I was trying to protect her," she stammered weakly.

"I know," he soothed, moving his hand to her back where he began to rub soft circles. "And I'm proud of you for that. It's _how_ you did it that caused a problem."

They both sat quietly, neither looking forward to what they knew was coming. Finally, Gibbs sighed and straightened himself.

"What should you have done differently tonight, Ziva?"

"I should have called Jimmy Palmer."

"_What_?"

"Instead of Tony. Jimmy would not have-"

"Watch it. What else?"

"I should not have referred to the arresting officer as a-"

"Ziva."

Groaning, Ziva finally told him what he wanted to hear.

"I should have walked away. Left the bar."

She didn't have time to judge his reaction, not that she needed it; she knew it had been the correct answer. Her head spun as Gibbs pulled her into position over his knee. The smacks began to fall, swift and heavy, leaving Ziva twisting but not crying.

It was not a long spanking, nor a particularly hard one. Gibbs was having a hard time concealing his pride, knowing how well his girls had done. However, they did put themselves in danger, and he was not in the habit of taking that lightly.

When it was over, Ziva allowed herself a few moments of comfort before pulling away. Gibbs didn't fight her, knowing that this was normal for her and that it was far more distressing to her to be forced to stay in his embrace.

"You okay?"

She nodded, already backing towards the door.

"Send Abby up."

Pausing, Ziva raised anxious eyes to meet his.

"Are you going to punish her?"

"Are you going to punch me if I say yes?"

Her glare told him that she was unamused, but he grinned at his own joke anyway.

"She hasn't done anything."

"Abby could have walked out of that bar to get help at anytime. She didn't. Now go."

And, spinning on her heel, she did. After all, she did learn that sometimes it was just best to walk away.

* * *

Ziva winced and stirred her coffee harder when she heard her friend squalling from upstairs. She was tempted to clap her hands over her ears to block out the fact that Abby was in pain. This was what she had been trying to avoid.

_It had to have been hours since the cries first started, and surely Gibbs was being far too stern with her…_

Barely having time to finish her thoughts, let alone comprehending how untrue she knew they had been, Ziva heard the guest room door open and two sets of footsteps make their way down the stairs. Gibbs came first, heading for both the coffee machine and the refrigerator, knowing that his girls hadn't eaten since lunchtime.

And then along came Abby, sulking and rubbing her behind.

Ziva cringed. Spying tear tracks on her friend's face, she stood and crossed the room, surprising Abby when she reached out to hug her. When they were close enough, Ziva leaned to whisper in the other woman's ear.

"You will come and help me plan revenge on Tony, yes?"

Abby grinned.

"Oh, trust me. I've got plenty planned for our Agent DiNozzo."

* * *

The phone's shrill ringing sounded throughout the apartment, startling Abby and almost causing her to drop the shirt that she was currently scrubbing a motor oil stain from.

"Ziva, can you grab that?"

The other woman tucked the phone into the crook of her neck, tossing an amused look at her friend after she'd checked the caller ID. _It's him_, she mouthed.

"Hello, Tony."

"Ziva? Why do you have Abby's phone?"

"Girl's night _in_. We've found it works out much better for us," Ziva answered laughing and switching the phone to speaker so that Abby could hear.

"I would think so. So…uh…listen. Something's wrong with my car. It stalled out in the middle of the street. I don't understand. I just filled the tank this morning."

"Sounds like someone cut the gas line," Abby called, still working on the oil and gasoline stains in her shirt, "Huh, it took a lot of precision to make sure it leaked out slowly enough for you to make it out of the garage and away from the navy yard. Someone must be _really_ pissed with you to go to all that trouble."

"_Abby_! It's raining!"

Both women glanced out the window to watch the rain pour down.

"Cats and dogs," Ziva assured him, pouring a generous share of wine for the both of them. Finally giving up, Abby threw the shirt in the washing machine and came to sit on the couch next to her friend.

"It's-nevermind. That one was good. Now ladies, you've had your fun. One of you needs to come get me."

"Well, gee, Tony. We would, but we're just so _busy._"

The women clinked their glasses together, hoping that their friend could hear them through the phone.

"B-but my cell phone's dying!"

"Someone must have replaced your battery while you were getting lunch, today," Ziva said, mildly. Abby listened before putting on a face of mock horror.

"Who is doing all these _terrible_ things to Tony?"

"Someone cruel and bitter! Two someones!" he yelled.

"It is not us then, Tony. Why don't you call _Gibbs_?"

"Have fun," Abby added, reaching over to switch off the phone.

Revenge was _very_ sweet.


End file.
